It's not my fault

No one seems to want to own up to something they did. We do not really want to be fully honest with ourselves. It wasn’t my fault!

Verse

"Who told you that you were naked?" the LORD God asked. "Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?" [12] The man replied, "It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it." Genesis 3:11-12 NLT

Reflection

What do you do when God tweaks you with a very specific and direct question? Do you take it in and own it? Do you search for a justification as to why you would answer the way you are answering? Are you trying to give God an answer that He wants to hear?

The person we see in the mirror is the one we spend the most of our time with. Profound. We are in the staring role in the story of our life.  We are, even if we often let others write our story for us.

In Genesis, God starts the story off of humanity with Adam. Adam and God are doing well with one another. But of course God knows that Adam really needs a companion. A partner. A soulmate of some kind. In steps Eve.

Now we know Adam is a man and God is pretty good at creating things that look wonderful and are attractive. So we can only imagine that Eve is just stunning. No doubt Adam is very thankful for her and we now have the first example of just how easy it is for men to be distracted. Distracted by things of this world for sure.

Eve takes the first bite and she knows she really can’t stay in this new reality by herself. How often has that happened to someone? They figure things out before the other in the relationship and they need to get the other into their reality? I’m not suggesting that is a bad thing. One might say it’s important, especially in certain areas, that a couple find themselves in the same place about those areas.

So Eve brings Adam into her world. No doubt that door swings both ways. Relationships are like that. We all, at some point find ourselves in a new reality and we would like the important people around us to join us there.

But here is where I am going with this and why it is important to reflect on exactly what Adam did. Adam, when confronted by God with a question that would reveal a truth about Adam, we don’t get Adam “manning up”. We get Adam deflecting his truth by inferring it was God’s fault. Sure, he is using Eve as the “reason” but in reality he is blaming God. After all, Adam and God were good until she stepped in.

Does that ring true for you? Does it ring true for me? Let’s look in the mirror and be honest. Not easy.

What I have discovered over this journey so far is that when I truly take accountability for me, my relationship with God has always gone to a new level. When I could confront my weakness or my sinful way with brutal honesty it was then that God could do His work on me. My shield of deflecting responsibility for my action was down, no defense and that is when the Spirit could do its best work.

Once I discovered this, which of course took decades, it has gotten so much easier to navigate the twists and turns. To use this tool in the playbook of life to let God do His best work in me.

You see, circumstances do indeed invite a decision in our life. In Adam’s case, he is confronted with doing something that God said he shouldn’t do, or staying in relationship with his wife. Adam chose relationship with his wife. I personally feel like Adam made the wise choice and probably the one that God was good with as well. Where I have a big problem with Adam was how he answered God. I would have respected Adam a great deal more had the conversation gone like this.

God: “Where are you Adam?”

Adam: “I’m naked and ashamed?”

God: “How is it that you have come to that conclusion?”

Adam: “Well, I took the fruit that Eve ate. I knew when I did it that it was doing what you said we should not do. However, it was clear to me that to stay in relationship with her I needed to join her. So I did.”

God: “Adam, this path you are now on has changed everything.”

Adam: “I do realize that Father and I am sorry that I made this decision that will change the path we were on.”

God: “Things are not going to be easy going forward for you and her. It’s going to get tough. While things have changed what hasn’t changed is my love for you both. I will be with you. Unfortunately, this path was not the original one.”

Adam: “Thank you for loving us Father. I realize that things are going to be different. I will do my best to remain on the path you want for me. I will try to stay focused on you Father. I am aware that when I don’t that the path I might choose will not be the ideal path. Fortunately Father, with your assurance, I know that you will still be there helping me.”

God: “I am so glad you see it that way as well. Unfortunately, what was done has its consequences. Now we will make the best of what is now the course.”

For me, taking ownership of your role in the situation is very key. You have to be accountable to your actions. You don’t have to beat yourself up. You don’t have to stay in that past. But you are now on a new course and you do have to learn when you are distracted by the world around you and not on the promptings of our Heavenly Father you stand the chance of moving in a very non-optimal direction.

So let’s conclude this with, take accountability for you. You are the star of your show and you, with God’s help, write the story by your decisions about what’s around you. You either do or do not as Yoda would say. So get connected and centered on God. Be truthful to Him when you have failed. Reconcile with it. Move past it and recenter on Him. Let the Spirit guide you and be sure to invest time with God so you do have more focus there then here.

Prayer

Heavenly Father thank for the many examples you have given us to stay the course with you. Clearly we need them. Thank you for always being willing to help us get on a good new direction. Help us fully understand that our ultimate goal is home with you. That despite the twists and turns with our focus on you we will navigate them. We will find our path with you. Please keep us, our families, and our friends safe. We pray this in the name of Jesus our Savior and Lord. Amen.